The people along the way: Week One - Scott

“Never leave any money on the table” is one of the cheesiest statements I’ve ever heard. Equally, it was one of the most life-changing statements that I’ve heard.

Around the last week of October in 2019, my brother’s girlfriend (now wife) invited us over for dinner at her parent’s house. My older brother Zaviar is my best friend and his wife Louise is the sister I never had. And Louise’s family is one of great joy. Her mom is the definition of warmth. Every time I step into their house I’m greeted with a double kiss on the cheek and food being brought to me. Everything about her is cozy, you feel welcomed, loved, and you can’t help but smile being around her. On the opposite end is Louise’s stepdad Scott. Scott was in the army, from Texas, and is this big guy that looks like he could throw you if he wanted to. But I wouldn’t call him intimidating at first glance, just like his wife, there is something engaging about him. He’s the kind of guy that will give you brutal honesty but in the best way possible.

And that is exactly what he did to me. The fall of 2019 was the beginning of my senior year of high school. The prospect of college was simply a hope at the time. I had a 2.6 cumulative GPA and a pretty low SAT score. Unlike the rest of my friends, I didn’t take the time to thoughtfully plan out which universities I wanted to go to. I picked a few within my academic range and hoped for the best. At dinner, Scott asked me which schools I was applying to, I told him my small list of four schools and he stared at me very confused.

He proceeded to ask me why I wasn’t applying to anything more rigorous. I told him I didn’t have the academic standing for it. Applying to a top-tier university wasn’t even a thought that crossed my mind. He laughed at me and asked about my non-profit work. I told him I didn’t include it on my applications because I didn’t think it would matter.

He told me that just because I didn’t have the scores doesn’t mean I don’t have the brains. He proceeded to say “never leave any money on the table”. He was telling me to be smart; include what I do have and use it to my advantage. Top-tier schools aren’t simply looking for scores, they are looking for capable individuals. Scott told me to apply to Brown University, Rice University, and Cornell University. 

When I went home that night I looked at each school, Cornell stood out to me for a multitude of reasons. So I decided to apply ED (early decision) at Cornell. The only issue was that the ED application deadline was in a week (November 1st). Thankfully, two of my teachers and two people that I have worked with in my non-profit were willing to write a letter of rec at the last minute. (Shout out to y’all)

I wrote my essay the night it was due and then one month later, I was accepted to Cornell.

Scott changed my life not just because of a statement, or because he “believed” in me. He showed me how to believe in myself. Under no other circumstance would I have applied to Cornell. And now attending it is a constant reminder of the people that helped me get there.

Scott taught me a valuable lesson to me that day. Being halfhearted in the things you do is an extremely large disservice to the people who are supporting you and to yourself. Scott never told me that “I can do it”. He told me to take a grip on what I was doing, not to think about what I could’ve done. 

In the field of mental health, we see a lot of encouragement for people to settle; if their illnesses or hardship are preventing them from doing something, then that is okay. I’m not saying I disagree with this, but I am saying that this statement shouldn’t be the ultimate decision for how we live our lives. To be gentle with yourself and to rest, requires you to not be halfhearted in who you are.

Your illness, your setback, your fear, your discouragement, or overall struggle does not need to have an ultimate hold on you. You are more than capable of doing something. Your illness or hard day is not a limit to your potential. No matter how long it takes you to heal and grow, your potential is not shaken. Our instinct to back out or be halfhearted in the things we do will weigh us down.

Scott is a brutally honest individual, but that is where a genuine connection is made. The next few weeks will show a theme of the people in my life giving me their “brutal honesty”, but when you have someone in your corner that wants you to be better than where you are today is the definition of love.

Thank you Scott for your realness and support! I’m very grateful that my brother married into your family. <3